A bit of movement from baby, and getting closer to 20 weeks

I swear this baby plays little tricks on me...I know he or she is moving in there, and then there is nothing...for days it seems. I guess it is still a bit early to have really REGULAR movement, and I am quite busy and maybe I don't notice the little movements as much. I do however look forward to that part of pregnancy! Show me who you are baby!! Anyways...yesterday and today I felt some bigger movements which was really exciting! Thumper...reminds me of my pregnancy with Cameron. This is how they determined the phrase Lazy Boy I think LOL.

Some interesting facts too. With Cameron I was on a 28 day cycle, and this one was too...and in the month before I conceived I was on 44 day cycle. I guess due to breastfeeding. I am breaking out on my face and hairline...and I don't remember that with the girls...I remember with Cameron I had break outs on my chest and back. I RARELY break out! Oh yeah...I was thinking back to my pregnancy tests...and the first one we took with Cameron was EXTREMELY LIGHT...just like this one (or should I say 6 tests) The girl's tests were A LOT DARKER...even at the walk in clinic test with Cameron the test was so light...so??? Does that theory work??? We will see in May I guess.

Can you see why I never sleep?! I have so many little thoughts running through my head.

And then there is my Doctor Theory...
A female doc delivered my son
A male doc delivered my daughter
Another male doc delivered my daughter
And the same male doc delivered my daughter...
does that mean I am having another daughter because my male doc is delivering again???
Who knows?! So fun to guess tho.

I have been really pondering names again too. Searching for the PERFECT NAMES...it is sooo hard this time around.

So far for a girl: Chloe May?? Not so sure about this really...maybe too Cutesy?? But really perfect for the time of the year?! Can this name grow up with an adult female?? I am not sure.

Cara Layne??? Not too sure about this either...

maybe Cara Paige?

I saw the name Calleigh today, and I thought that was a nice girls name. What would I do for a middle name? YIKES

I like Claudia, Corinna and Courtney too now...

For a boy name so far:

I still like Christian Tate...but I never want the first name to be shortened to Chris...not to keen on that. I just remembered too that I had a high school boyfriend named Christian...so? is that kosher?? I don't know. (he was a hottie)

Carter Detlef...Love Carter...but feel bad because one of Cliff's work bud's has a son named Carter...is that wrong? Detlef is my Dad's name...and he doesn't even have a middle name so I know my Dad would love that...he keeps hinting at that...I am going to get Cliff to call his friend and ask if that would be OK.
I also like Gavin for a middle name now too!

I have liked Carter Detlef since we were pregnant with Cameron. So, that name has kinda been around for 6+ years.So many choices...thankfully I have quite a few months to decide upon that. Usually the name is done, and in the bag!

I don't think I would win Mother of the Year Award today...today, in a fit of anger and sheer exhaustion...I said on the phone to Cliff..."I don't think we should keep this baby, maybe we should put this baby up for adoption...I cannot even handle the 4 today...how am I going to handle 5", and I went on to say "I am not the same woman you married" "I am so ugly, tired, burnt out...worn out, and angry all the time"...hmmm. Can you say hormones.

I feel bad for saying that, and I REALLY ALREADY love this baby...I just had a bad moment of mental and physical exhaustion. I feel better typing that...so when the mood hits for baby number 6 I can read back on this...and talk myself out of that!!

FIVE IS THE PERFECT NUMBER FOR US

FIVE IS THE PERFECT NUMBER FOR US

FIVE IS THE PERFECT NUMBER FOR US

(me hugging my five kids)

Another thing I think about is that I feel like I am not "bonding" with this baby as much as the others...I think it is because I am ALWAYS busy with one of the 4. Not much time to really sit, put my hand on my belly and talk to him or her. I need to start doing that...even if it is only for a few minutes. I want the baby to know how much he or she is wanted and loved. I cannot think of anything else today...but that is really what today was like...tomorrow will be so much better!

And boxing day will be the best! All the Christmas stuff comes down! Back to normal! Until May...then our world changes AGAIN!Can't wait to meet you baby...2006 is going to be great! We get to meet you!

Please come out on Mother's Day!

Cathy
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