A really hard doctors appointment

Well, I had one of those scary appointments today. One I am almost to scared to type down. I got the results from the 22 week ultrasound (because they couldn't visualize the heart well) so the heart is fine, but when they were scanning around they found a "Double Bubble" in the stomach. Which is a marker for Down's syndrome. I never took the triple screen. I never had for any of the kids. I am under 35. I just turned 34 in October. So, after getting on the scale and gaining 12 pounds in 4 weeks. And having OK blood pressure etc. To find this out freaked me out so bad. I started crying immediately, and I haven't stopped. I am still crying as I write this. My doctor is not worried. The baby doesn't have any markers that are associated with Down's except this one. I don't have any except for this ONE. But this one is scaring the heck out of me. I don't know what to think. Other than I feel that I have done something wrong or something. Anyways so now I have to go for ANOTHER ultrasound to check this out. Are they going to find more worrysome stuff? Is everything going to be OK? I am so freaked out. Today the heartrate was 144 bpm. I have a req. to go for the glucose screening around the 16th of February. I also will have this ultrasound. And now I will be worried until the baby gets here. I also am RH - so I have to pick up Rhogam for my next appt. So, quite a busy month for the baby and I. So scary. I don't know what to do for myself. Other than pray to God that everything will be alright. That is all I can do really. I am going to ask for good thoughts and prayers from everybody I know to help get me, and the baby through all of this bad stuff. Dr. D told me to rest more, and keep my feet up more. Almost impossible with 4 kids around. My legs are all swollen and I am developing veins on the left leg now too. That really sucks. All in all a really bad day today. It has been horrible. Really horrible. So, I spoke to soon when I said I have never had a really bad day. Today takes the cake. I am a nervous wreck now. I am just an emotional basket case. My Doc didn't even want to tell me about it because he knew how I would react. (By bawling my eyes out.) He gave me the biggest hugs to cheer me up though. I really think he is the most wonderful doctor. He really is. I also registered at the hospital today. That makes the impending arrival of Caroline or Carter very real. It was neat because after I finished writing up the papers. I ran into the wonderful nurse Becca who helped in the delivery of Catie. So that was good.Anyways, that was my hard day. I have burning eyes and I am tired. But I don't think I can sleep right now. I just needed to type that out so that maybe my head will stop swimming with bad thoughts, and what if's. Those are the worst.

Cathy