Burned Dinner/Burnt out Mom

I have to share with you a story about last nights dinner. Or shall I say lack of dinner.

I had this great skillet lasagne recipe from my Mom, and she made it for us not too long ago. So, during the day yesterday I called my Mom and made sure I would make it right etc. So, I start the dinner, and everything is going along really well. Cliff gets home from work, and he says something is burning...well, I have a cold and I am nasally and stuffed up. He looks underneath the layers, and the meat layer is black. My dinner is ruined. My emotions run wild. I say throw the bleeping dinner out, and I run to my room whilst saying I quit, I will never make dinner again, and I am tired of being a Mom...somebody else can do it for me. I don't want to be a Mom anymore. I want to leave this all behind. I throw myself on the bed, so angry at myself for ruining this dinner that everybody was looking forward to. I layed there for awhile, but I was so angry. So in a fury, in a fury I stomp back to the kitchen, and I say to Cliff throw the da&* dinner in the garbage. I hucked a bun at Cliff which bounced off his shirt and into the open garbage...Cliff says good shot, and then I threw a lime at the window ledge and it stuck. I was even more mad.

I went to start washing the blackend skillet, and it was hopeless, so I grabbed a big garbage bag and I threw the pan out and threw it down on the floor. I didn't even have one ounce of nice left in me. I felt like an utter failure. I was angry all the way though the night, and even when I woke up this morning I was angry. Cliff said to me this morning, how are you? I said I am still angry. He said it is just dinner, and it is done. I am not worried about it. But I said it ruined my evening. I ruined the evening for everybody.

I am glad that I don't have to go back to yesterday. I am thankful for a new day. I feel bad because I was swearing and yelling so much over dinner, but really I think it was more of a letting go of all of the stress of the past months with this baby in my belly. Those hormones are wicked I tell you.

Cathy